THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
