I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
too bad you live with your parents still
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
