that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
this is an emotional support booty call
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize