my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
