Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
