btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
