She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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