party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize