how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize