I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
