So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
