he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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