We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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