Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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