just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
