At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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