Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
