just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
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