how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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