porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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