This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
