you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
