You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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