I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
