This is not my ceiling
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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