So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
