I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
