**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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