RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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