Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
