2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
