i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
