I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
