I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i will never coherently bang her
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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