careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
