WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
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