Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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