After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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