Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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