what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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