grandma shit on top of the toilet
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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