Sorry, I don't speak sober.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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