Four minutes until I can fart!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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