My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
pop tarts are not kleenex
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
