idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
