Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
