What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
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