I skipped work to stalk him.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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