Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
