Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
