I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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