If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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