yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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