i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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