The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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