I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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