I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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