I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.