I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens