Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Blood and glitter go together right?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
