Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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