so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
