Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
