She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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